My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
