his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I have post one night stand depression
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize