i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
