my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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