Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
