It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
