LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
