Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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