A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
