Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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