bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize