I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
