so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
i drank out of a bidet.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
