Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
