Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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