I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
