peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
