I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
