Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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