You're my little dorito
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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