I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
