it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
