She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
