why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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