i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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