i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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