puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
