I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
