Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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