Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
