Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
