why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
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