omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
