i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
vagina is talking i cant
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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