Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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