Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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