Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
false alarm. still invincible.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I think I sprained my soul last night
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
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