Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
