is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Randomize
