Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
