today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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