I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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