it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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