Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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