he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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