This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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