oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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