i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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