somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
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