so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
