The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
