I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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