Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
