He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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