Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
