I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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