You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
this boner is exhausting
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
