i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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