Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
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