I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
