Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Green mimosas i think yes
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
